


Dream Angst Oneshots

by deceivingonionrings



Series: the stupidity that is my Dream SMP fics [2]
Category: Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: 'im bad at writing', 'thats not the same as sadistic', Angst, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Author is a Clay | Dream Apologist (Video Blogging RPF), BAHA PRISON, Character Death, Clay | Dream-centric (Video Blogging RPF), Crying, Fear of Death, Fluff and Angst, Heavy Angst, Hurt Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF), I'm Bad At Summaries, I'm Bad At Tagging, Im bad at writing, Implied Relationships, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, NO BETA WE DIE LIKE REAL DREAM SYMPATHIZERS, Oneshot, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Panic Attacks, Prison, Rape/Non-con Elements, Sad, Sad Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF), Sad Ending, Self-Harm, Separation Anxiety, Touch-Starved Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF), all i know how to write is angst, all men know is, and cry, and how self aware it is, and refrained, boxed like a fish?, but then went 'wait', fear of being alone, i have no clue, i was gonna put sadism, idk what im doing, im literally copypasting my tags from other books, isnt a frequently used tag, knockoff wattpad writer, not surprised, says a lot about this website, thE FACT THAT, this is ao3, trigger warning, what is to be expected, why is 'men crying' a tag, write fanfic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-20
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-16 15:21:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,088
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29578128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deceivingonionrings/pseuds/deceivingonionrings
Summary: big big trigger warning!!!!!! this has very touchy and sensitive topics so please be careful if you decide to readdre oneshots because my brain cant function well enough to write content for my other fics because i intensely struggle with motivation. sorry ppl who read my other fics, im incredibly dumb
Relationships: Clay | Dream & Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream/Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Karl Jacobs & Sapnap, Karl Jacobs/Sapnap
Series: the stupidity that is my Dream SMP fics [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2122929
Comments: 13
Kudos: 164





	1. for nothing at all

**Author's Note:**

> this is based off of murders by Miracle Musical :)
> 
> yea a lot of these r gonna be bad because my motivation leaves my body very very quickly

Dream remembers when he was brought into prison.

He was running through a thich forest, trampling pretty poppies and dandelions under his feet, the moonlight shining onto his pale skin as he pants with exahustion. He'd known that day that they were chasing him down, ready to lock him in Pandora's Box, the prison that felt incredibly inhuman and enough to make one's stomach drop just at the through of being kept in there like you were a little pet gerbil, trapped in a cage for months at a timebecause the owner had forgotten you had existed.

He remembers getting caught. How they ripped him of his armor and pulled him into a position he couldn't escape from, wrists held together by bulky chains and a netherite enchanted sword that shined in the lighting held against his adam's apple.

He knew he deserved to be in here, he just liked to believe he wasn't the entire issue.

He was.

He'd lost everything and gained everything at once. He lost all his friends, breaking ties with them purely because he knew he was no longer a good person and he didn't think they needed to be with him any longer to be subject to it. He sobbed over them night after night, living in a pathetic stone room located above the stronghold with a singular green colored bed sitting in the far corner. He'd lost sleep over them, traveling through the night and patrolling, watching over everyone and gathering all the info he could get just so he could try and get some clarity in the chaos that constantly made itself prominent in L'manburg, the wars and problems piling up to become more than he could handle.

Now as he lay silent on the warm obsidian, mask cracked and on the brink of breaking, his clock shattered on the ground with glass everywhere, and his books filled with regrets, he can't find a reason to live.

He lost it all for nothing. He brought himself through years of trauma and pain and misery and regret and guilt just to get too powerhungry while trying to balance everything out only for it to be completely taken from him in one simple moment.

_All of it. For nothing at all. The good memories, the bad, the times where he thought he was doing good, the times where he knew he was incredulously bad, and the times where he just wanted to make it all stop, meant nothing. He was alone forever. To forever sit in quiet solitude, with nobody to call his friend and nobody to ever turn to. nothing got solved until he was made the one to make the solution._

_all his days of being the worst person on the entire server._

_and for what?_

_for nothing. for absolutely nothing._

_and thats exactly how he liked it._

_thats exactly how it had to_ be.


	2. theres a reason

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a reason that London puts barriers on the tube line. There's a reason that London puts barriers on the rails.
> 
> greatly based off of Jubilee Line by Wilbur Soot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HUGE TRIGGER WARNING, MENTIONED SU*CIDE AND PANIC ATTACKS,,, AND OTHER THINGS OF THAT NATURE PLEASE DONT READ IF YOU DONT THINK YOU'LL BE ABLE TO HANDLE IT!!!!!

Dream loved George and he'd told him that too.

Two weeks in London were planned for him to see George. He'd confessed the Friday of the first week, getting a polite decline followed by awkward silence and being ignored for the remainder of the second week.

He hated it.

He knew he was wasting George's time all along. He'd known it was a mistake.

The night he was denied he'd yelled at the mirror in his guest room, getting a panic attack and yanking at his hair. He yelled and yelled all his frustrations away, screaming and sobbing because he wasn't loved.

George didn't hear a thing.

He wanted to leave by that upcoming second week Saturday, numerous days without sleep and food leaving him miserable.

Thing is, he didn't just want to go home.

The thought of going home to a broken, empty heart and nothing to do about it made him feel sick. 

He had a better idea.

That Saturday night he packed his things and kissed George's cat goodbye, leaving a parting note.

He'd jokingly blamed it on the air, saying it was too polluted and that his water had some weird chemical in it and he just didn't like the sights.

He'd said, _'Don't come find me. I'll be gone by the time you find this anyways. I love you and I'm sorry.'_

That night he left and walked along the damp streets of England. The rain poured onto his umbrella. 

He made his way to the train station and sat on one of the benches after buying a respective way in, pretending he'd forgotten his ticket or some sort and they just brushed him off, saying he could get one soon.

The entire night he watched those trains fly by, staring at the barriers covering the tube line of the railroad tracks.

His phone was blowing up by the morning, flooding with texts of questions, wondering where he was and what was going on and if he was alright.

Apparently there was even a Twitter post made by George looking for him.

The vibrations he didn't bother to check were settling a guilt onto his chest, though he ignored it and hid his face a little better.

When night approached, he'd looked along the empty train station. Using it as his last farewell, he pulled his phone out and ignored his notifications.

He took a photo of him doing a peace sign to his camera, clearly tired as his skin was sickly pale and eyebags hung under his eyes, a black cloth mask pulled over the bridge of his nose.

'special face reveal while im at the london train station. :)'

He'd shut it down after that, tears threatening to spill as he tossed his stuff down and grabbed his pocket knife from his pocket as he approached the rail barriers.

_There's a reason that London puts barriers on the tube line._

Dream broke the glass with the metal of his pocket knife, gently climbing through the hole as to not cut himself.

_There's a reason that London puts barriers on the rails._

His head tilted to glance to the left, seeing faint, bright lights not too far down the tunnel.

His stomach dropped, catching his footing before standing on the rusty tracks, feet balancing on them as he reaches his arms out welcomingly. The train whistles, speedily approaching him.

He feels like his world is crashing down, trying to retreat, regretting, begging him to leave, but it was too late now.

He stared into the blinding lights ahead as he heard his name be called.

_There's a reason they fail._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is bad smh im just tired and wanted to try and make something for everyone who reads my bs

**Author's Note:**

> whips and nae naes
> 
> my twt is a bad art account, so go ahead and [follow me here :)](https://twitter.com/caramel_dumbass)  
> lemme know if u want a discord where you can drop prompts, i'll gladly make one and im sure it'll help me get my motivation up a bit :)


End file.
